Tuesday, March 20, 2012

4 Reasons why Avatar is the Twilight of Sci-Fi.

Crazy resemblance!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say 90% of you have seen either Avatar or Twilight. A similar number of people probably like one of the two (and maybe even both!). I've noticed alot of similarities between the two, a crappy story line, pussy characters, and I swear I saw one of the Na'vi sparkle once! Here are four reasons why Avatar is the Twilight of Sci-Fi.





1. Story


Avatar is a chick flick diguised as a guys movie. The terrible love story is hidden behind the premise of explosions(Hoorah!) and cool aliens (which aren't even that cool, well the giant birds are).

Twilight is a chick flick disguised as a guys movie. Again, a terrible love story is hidden behind the premise of vampires and werewolves fighting. How could they mess that up? Underworld seemed to have no problem making money fighting werewolves and vampires without making them sparkle.

Only one is actually a book.

The only difference is, guys realized Twilight was a lie before going, and only realized they had been tricked by Avatar after they went.


2. Box Office


Both of them were massive hits!

Avatar $2,782,275,172 in box office sales

Twilight
  Breaking Dawn     $705,058,657
  Eclipse                  $698,491,347
  New Moon           $709,827,462
  Total                      $2,113,377,466 in box office sales

My girlfriend going to see Avatar in Theaters

Now obviously Twilight took three movies to even come close to Avatar, but they both passed the 2 billion in revenues mark. Why is it that they were so popular, yet suck so much? I'm not sure, you'll have to read #4 on this list to find out.


3. Pussy-fy a Otherwise Bad-Ass Concept.


Twilight turned badass vampires (think underworld) into pussies that won't even drink blood.

Dracula would be proud

Avatar turned aliens from the destroyer of worlds (Vogons!) into a furrie's dream girl.

Vampires are supposed to eat people, not sparkle on them while flipping their hair around.Similarly, when humans and aliens meet, 90% of the time one of them is going to be killing the other. Aliens aren't supposed to be sexy (All the Mass Effect fans immediately stopped reading here). Real aliens are supposed to look like the ones from District Nine or the martians from War of the Worlds.


4. They're both Brain Candy.


As bad as they are people just can't get enough of them. My girlfriend knows twilight is a terribly written story, yet still loves it. In the same way, I know Avatar is essentially Pocahontas in space, but I love it. You know why? Because there's explosions in Avatar! As for Twilight, I have no idea. Perhaps some twilight fans would care to enlighten us on it's appeal?

An axe? No thanks, I have missiles!

As a final note, I've never watched Twilight, but I've heard all about it, and I watched Avatar more times than I'd care to admit. Fun Fact, both Avatar and Pocahontas were released in theaters on December 18th.

5 comments:

  1. I mostly agree with you. Still, while in my opinion Avatar's success is somewhat justified by great 3D effects, which were the best so far in all cinematography, Twilight's is not.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, those 3D effects are some of the best eye candy I've seen yet. I actually stopped to watch some of the final battle seen at Future Shop today on their huge TV's. Looks sooo nice! I've never seen Twilight on their TV's come to think of it :D.

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